In the presence
Of a full moon
Sunrise
Sunset
In the presence
Of pure beauty
And awe
I stop
I freeze
I cry
In the presence
Of lack of life
Pain
Sorrow
In the presence
Of need for more
Connection
Relief
I stop
I freeze
I cry
I always do
Without fail
In the presence
Of pleasure and pain
I freeze
I always have
I always judged it
I always hid it
I always wanted it to
Stop
Always questioning
Why wasn’t I running toward
Pleasure
The mountain tops
Wide open oceans
Why wasn’t I moving toward
The adventure
And mystery that awaits
Why wasn’t I fighting
For me
Gathering what I needed
To defend
Move forward
And be free
The questions
Have plagued me
The judgments
Comparisons
Of self
What I was doing
Not doing
How I was suppose to
Experience
Life
Have been
Endlessly
Painful
Until…
I realized
I wasn’t frozen
In paralysis
I was simply doing what I needed
For my body
I was simply stopping
In the moment
To receive
The pleasure
Beauty
Pain
Angst
As it cut
Cleanly through my heart
Leaving no trace behind
To the naked eye
Of its existence
And yet leaving
The embers of a quiet fire
Building
Getting ready to ignite
In the presence of
Children playing
A beautiful song
Sung from delight
I cry
In the presence of
Witnessing another fall
The cry of a mother
For a loss of another
I cry
I cry as I close my eyes
And receive the
Connection
The moment
The essence of
A wholeness
That lies within my
Heart
My soul
It is deeper than
That over there
It is deeper than
Where I think I am suppose to be
What I am suppose to be doing
It is pleasure and pain
Wrapped up as one
They feel and taste the same
At the center of my being
They nourish me equally
As I allow them to penetrate
My spirit
It is in the stopping
Freezing
That I have the opportunity
To be with what
Is
To have my heart
Expand with the energy of both
Pleasure and pain
Pushing beyond the barrier
Of my body
At times
Collapsing me to the floor
Raising me up to the sky
So that I may better
Experience
This body
As it rises and falls
Expands and contracts
As it lives and breathes
Life
As it truly is
In the divine presence
Of all that is
From here
I choose
To welcome it all
And acknowledge
The wisdom
To receive
The sunrise
The sorrow
Equally
With grace and gratitude
For being alive
For being able to feel
The exquisiteness of
The wholeness that I am
In the presence of
Pleasure and pain
