It was a beautiful
Spring morning
The birds were chirping
The smell of grass and lilacs
Permeated the house
As the fresh air
Whisked through the windows
Preparing us for the perfect day

We had our routine down

Get up
Get dressed
Eat breakfast
Brush hair
Brush teeth
Get out the door

Off to school drop off we go

But this particular morning
She couldn’t find something to wear
She frantically
Ran up and down the stairs
Looking through her closet
Then mine
Back to hers
Wishing something new
Would magically appear

It didn’t

She relented
Settled on something
Not so fabulous

We rushed out the door

She did however
Leave her room a mess
I noticed
As I paused with annoyance
Ready to berate her
For not following the rules
For not getting it done
For not taking care of her belongings
For not getting it right

Suddenly memories
Came flooding in my mind
Of me
Having such moments
Where I wasn’t able
To find something to wear
Or pull it all together
In time
When I left my house
Heavy hearted

She doesn’t need
Any more pressure
This morning
Let it go

And so I did

We had to rush to the store
Along the way
As ice cream had to be bought
For a class celebration today

I ran in
Got it

Oh no
She said
I forgot the spoons at home

No problem I said
Running back into the store
Frantically heading up and down the aisles
Searching through the hundreds of napkins
Plates and toilet paper piles
To find the last case of plastic spoons
Hidden deep behind the forks

Frustration was building

I got to the check out
Had to dig deep to find my wallet
It felt like it was taking forever
I need to get back
We need to get on the road
What a chaotic morning

Frustration was really building

At this point I was running
For the car
Aware of the clock
Ticking away
Aware of the frustration
Pushing me forward

Soon however
I slowed
Sensing the doom
Emanating from the car
I could see it from the distance
The dread in her posture
The panic in her face
The tears in her eyes

I opened the door
The tea has fallen
All over the car

I’m so sorry
She cried
There are no towels
What a chaotic morning

Oh no
I said
Grabbing a small white paper bag
Containing a gift
Submerged in the pool
It’s soaked

Damn
Why did you leave it there

The tears got bigger
The weight of her despair grew
I took a deep breath
Looked down at the pond of tea
Contained between the seats
Once again
Realizing
I have nothing to clean it up with

Suddenly more memories
Came flooding in
Of the many times
I have spilled my own tea
My coffee
My water
My wine

How many times before
Has it ruined my day
Added to the frustration
Left me feeling defeated

Not today
I thought
Not today

As the smell of grass and lilacs
Were still with me
Reminding me of the beautiful day
That has been presented
Allowing my mind and body to relax
As we moved forward
Onward to school

The tears continued
As she shared
It’s just too much
I just can’t handle this day

Is it really too much
I asked

Can you really not handle this day
Is that true

I don’t think so
I continued
What if
This were just another day
That happens to have been
Blessed by spilled tea

You are welcome
To get and stay upset about this
Or recognize

We all have these moments
We all have to rush about
We all feel chaotic
We all spill our tea

And right now
You have a choice

You can hold onto this moment
You can keep staring down at the tea
That’s not going anywhere
You can keep ruminating
Over not finding something to wear
Or having to rush to the store
Or just how chaotic
This morning has been

Or you can instead
Look up and notice
You are moving forward
Toward a celebration at school
Looking super cute
In a not so perfect outfit
With a platter here and there

We all have these days
What do you choose

And there it was

That spirited smile that comes
When she stops caring about what she looks like
When she realizes it’s just spilled tea
When she comes back to the moment
When she let’s go of the chaos
When she thinks about ice-cream
As she turns to get out of the car

I love you mom
I love you too kiddo

Skipping away
Off to enjoy
A beautiful spring day