My home is my comfort zone
It holds me
Protects me
It is where I find solace
It is what feeds my soul
During the day there is
An unpredictable chaos
With kids yelling
Running up and down the stairs
Tracking mud in on their feet
Smearing jelly over the walls
During the evening there is
A stillness
As I slowly walk throughout
Picking up the droppings of the day
As my body comes down from the rush
My mind quiets
My heart beats with a rhythm of love
And balance is restored
I have lived here
For 10 years
And now it is time
To say goodbye
To let go
To move forward
To a new home
A new chaos
A new silence
And yet
My heart hurts
My heart hurts
As I look around and notice
The cracks and crevasses
That have held us so sweetly
My heart hurts
At the lose of a marriage
Childhood dreams
As the embrace
Of all that I have known
Rapidly falls away
My heart hurts
I can feel it pounding
Loudly now
As I pack boxes
With our names
Mine
Hers
His
Yours
Sorting through our past lives
Dividing up our belongings
Preparing them for their next destination
My heart hurts
It is so loud now
Pounding ruthlessly
Pushing every thought
To the sideline
Screaming
Hear me
My heart hurts
It is so strong now
I can’t feel a thing
Other then its thundering beat
As it knocks the residue
Of pain
From yesterday
Today
To the surface
Leaving me
Unable to move
My heart hurts
As it spews its anger
At what has passed
What could have been
What is
I am feeling pummeled
From the inside out
As my heart surges
Forwarded
Raging through my body
Desperately seeking to shake me
Back to life
My entire body hurts now
As I lay here welcoming the
Earthquake erupting within
My core
I am instantly seized
By a stabbing pain
At the realization
That we have no other home
To go to
Yet
It hasn’t been found
And that uncertainty
Hurts
It covers up something
Even deeper
A fear
A fear of tomorrow
The unknown
The world
It is big out there
Beyond the comfort zone
Of my home
It is big out there
Calling for me to step up
Step out
I can hear my heart now
Whispering to me
Bring it
Bring it
We got this
You got this
Whispering to me
To breathe
Breathe deeply into my core
Breathe into this power
Quaking within
Let it rise
Let it give birth to a new way
Of being
Listen to me
Cause you got this
The hurt in my heart
Is leaving now
As hope and faith
Begin to enter
As light slips through the cracks
And penetrates my soul
As a welcome knowing
From within
Cradles my entire being
And I am wrapped
In a warmth of knowing
Knowing
I will be just fine
We will be just fine
I will be carried
I will be supported
I am loved
This knowing
Soothes my beating heart
As a sense of normalcy
Calms my thoughts
Resets my cells
And a soft movement
Begins to gently flow
I begin to notice
My heart
Is holding me
Comforting me
Protecting me
It offers me solace
It guides me onward
It feeds my soul
Soon my heart
Beats again
With a rhythm of love
As balance sets back in
And I notice
I am already home
